i will survive

First i was afraid, i was petrified

Or perhaps it was less about fear and more like shock

‘Fuck me whats this all about!!!!’

Feeling separated from source, disoriented and dislocated

‘I can never live in this shithole’ or some such remark.

But i was hungry i wanted food, i had to find it, to stay strong i learnt how to get along.

‘I will survive’

Then i was told i had sinned and had to do penance in order to find favour with someone called god who i was told created me and everything.

Now definitely there was fear coursing through my veins

Me this fallen angel in this valley of tears, a child up against an almighty force who could see my every move

Then as an adult

The story of an angel from heaven come to anchor love on earth was heard

‘As long as i know how to love i know i’ll stay alive, i will survive’

Today

Living in Heaven and writing, directing and playing in the movie called Earth and i don’t care if i survive or not, this is how it feels….. anyway these are just words, tomorrow, whenever that is, i, whoever that is, may say something completely different….. whether i do or not doesn’t matter because no matter what i do, say or think, none of it will ever be any more important or significant than the other…. this is it and will always be it and it’s all just fine… alleluia