heavy emotions do ‘we’ need to ‘heal’ ‘them’

heavy emotions have been my key to something that looks like happiness, i faced them, felt them, named them and loved them, the longings, traumas and fears, uncertainties, frustrations and jealousy, which arise for me more intensely in close relationships….  in this practice of facing, naming and loving them, i was ‘doing’ something to ‘them’, to this other thing, to ‘heal’ ‘them’, they were therefore a problem….. but this month i have become more aware that they are me and i am them….. so now i simply feel them deeply, or at least do my best to, that is all, be with them totally, no naming, no analysing, no thought about them…. just feeling them, for love is who i am, in every moment of every day, this is all that seems to be required…. it seems to work, come back to me in a few years and i’ll let you know if it’s long lasting!! 🙂

the ‘no thought’ part as you can imagine is quite a challenge, because i am programmed to think my way through the ‘problem’. so i must continually bring myself back to the feeling and be with it, to be with all that is, which i am, that is all. It feels like i am being brought back continually right throughout the day to the essence, the core, the love, the music, the rhythm, the dance, the play of something ineffable, which i can feel principally in my belly and this feeling inspires me to continue

just been with all that arises throughout the day is what meditation is, not just for set periods, the whole day 24/7… therefore meditation is attention, attention is love, love is life

i am not advocating an absence of thought, ‘no thought’ maybe too extreme a phrase, i am saying that there has to be a realisation that we have being programmed to spend so much energy chasing our tails trying to analyse a feeling when all that is required is to simply feel the *******thing…. anyway there’s never just one, all feelings are vibrating all the time, so you can’t analyse just one because even though it may feel strong and singular, it is still affected by all the others all the time and thus variable….we need to go on a thought diet and use it only when it promotes our health and wellbeing 

there are of course lots of other wonderful emotions, all the wildness, joy and fulfilment etc, but they seem to be like very happy children playing away without a care in the world, needing no ‘attention’ from ‘us’ !! 🙂

Join me tomorrow monday 20 march 2023, the equinox, on facebook live at 8pm gmt for more of the same 🙂 http://www.facebook.com/fionntain