LOVE IS LIFE IS LOVE

I’m not pleading on my knees,
praying to some separate god for forgiveness and peace.

Yes!
I did one day, lost in some strange way

No!
I’m co-creating my life, our life, this life, with you,
one in abundance, in free flowing love.
And on the way i have encountered blocks,
unease, people i did not like, which, who challenged me.
I hid and got tired of hiding.
I faced those blocks, accepted them,
allowed my body to experience them totally,
those thoughts, emotions and sensations.

I began to flow again and they with me,
and you with me,
unearthing deeper, higher, wider dimensions of
God, of Source, of Self, of Light, of Love, of Life.

‘Look within’, he said.
‘The kingdom of heaven is within you’, he said.

HAPPY NEW YEAR


winter on ‘an crotta cliath’, ireland
  HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!
I’ve wanted to share so much with you all, but for now i have just a few words. Messages and posts i’ve read on facebook in the last few months, for which i’m so thankful, have been inspirational and this short poem i’ve written this morning is for me, for now, the essence of it all
Today I breathe easy
Today I walk free
Today I live in love
 
I’m so thankful for all the inspiration, for all my guides, family, friends and acquaintances…… for all the love.
I share this love with you now, for 2015, forever.
 

Calling all Singers & Musicians, Male & Female

oh for a female voice to touch my heart
oh! for a female voice to touch my heart

 

My voyage through the world of music, sound, song and dance continues. My true sound has been dormant long and is slowly re-emerging. My lifes purpose can be described in part: to share with people everywhere, the song and dance of my mind and body, heart and soul

I’m looking for singers and musicians to join me in completing the evolving soundscape which will become my second album, songs and chants of healing, inspiration and love. My first priority is to find a female singer who will resonate with me and this soundscape

Essentially I wish to sing into being and celebrate the energetic vibrational union of the masculine and feminine in one and in all.

If this message resonates with you, get in touch, listen my demo recordings, audition, sing/play songs with me and together lets see if our collaboration can create music that touches all our hearts. Looking forward with gratitude to the outcome.

Namaste

Beannachtaí

Fionntáin

above image by elycefeliz on flicker    https://flic.kr/p/brBpYo

The Path of Miracles

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St Mary’s Cathedral, Limerick. 8pm Thursday 18 September

(also Galway today and Cork next sat)

INTRODUCTION

Path of Miracles by Joby Talbot is a one-hour acapella choral work for seventeen voices, depicting the emotional and physical journey of the pilgrim on the world’s most enduring Christian pilgrimage to the cathedral at Santiago di Compostella in northern Spain.

MY EXPERIENCE

I sat in my chair attentively and quietly as the church filled and the performance drew nearer. I was in the front seat so there was little to distract me. The presence of a child beside me was enough to remind me that all is well. To begin, there was a brief explanation of the Camino Way and then the musical director for the evening, Máire Keary-Scanlon, outlined the 4 movements of the piece

What happened next, words can’t fully describe. I show an image of the recording of the piece above, yet i feel an audio recording would not fully describe my experience either. All performances are a creative collaboration between the performer and the audience. The more either party can give of their true selves to this creation the more blissful the experience for both.

My heart opened to the first male sounds soaring from the inner sanctuary, then females sang from another space within the church behind me and my heart opened wider and wider and I was full of emotion and they kept on singing and I was already in tears and allowing the sounds to fill me and all emotion to flow thru me and I felt the multi layered reality of the connection that was revealing itself so instantaneously as old choral programming gave way to ancient vibrations deep in each cell of my body. My heart began to beat fast. My breathing was heavy. Sound is a physical experience, sometimes you have to be right beside it to hear its full power. I opened my eyes partially and thru the tears I saw Máires guiding gestures shadowed on the floor and the feet of her beautiful singers now gathered in a semicircle before me. Magic! Mind Blowing!

For me, a good orgasm is where having felt, experienced and fully accepted my innate primal impulses, I then find that place within my being that allows me to centre myself and be calm in the midst of these wild urges, with assistance from conscious breathing, conscious movement and conscious sound. The sounds reaching my being were opening up my whole body now and I knew there was much releasing of energy taking place. The audience was classically quiet. I cried alone, my body shaking. I breathed deeply into my base chakra, down into my toes and drew up the grounding energy of the earth right up into my crown chakra and beyond. I moved as much as I could, audience permitting, and my breathing created its own sound in response to the choir, which was apparent at moments of silence. My body was now allowing itself to merge more deeply into this energetic exchange. I felt I was speaking in tongues. Wanting to dance, I improvised with facial expression and tongue on tip of teeth, tapping and lipping. Orgasm is an energetic release, The great Ah! But as a species we have been suppressed. Energetic release is possible in all areas of the body. This concert was a Soundgasm. My response was a Bodygasm. I smiled with the beauty flowing thru my being

I was listening to the divine that sang a choral sound to the divine in me. It was an affirmation, a thumbs up to the sounds I create myself. A standing ovation wasn’t enough, I wanted to hug them all. I was in bliss and on a high, I don’t know which is which. Either way I needed to ground myself, come back down to earth.

Thank you so much Máire and your band of men and women and to the composer Joby Talbot for this inspired soundgasm

BROCHURE DESCRIPTION
An Introduction provided by Lucia Sheehan, who recommended the concert to me, thanks so much Lucia:

This spectacular and moving work depicts The Camini Way which begins in Roncesvalles, southern France. The four movements of the piece are each named after one of the main Cathedral posts along the route, beginning at Roncesvalles, then Burgos, Leon and Santiago, finally extending beyond to Finisterre, with each movement evoking a different emotion associated with the intensity of the pilgrimage.

Originally commissioned for the vocal group Tenebrae in 2005, this work will be performed in full in Ireland for the first time in St. Mary’s Cathedral, Limerick on Thursday September 18th, St. Nicholas’s Cathedral in Galway on Sat Sept 20th and on Sat Sept 27th in St. Fin Barre’s Cathedral in Cork by a choral group, who have come together for the sole purpose of performing this work

Joby Talbot
Joby Talbot

IS IT THE CASE ?

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is it the case that this mountain exists?

On Thursday morning 10 July 2014, I woke completely unaware I was celebrating Thor, the God Of Thunder (whyever he got such good press, I don’t know), and found that I could not remember the specific dream I had…. and then as I wrote I asked myself ‘but what of the great on-going dream…..’
     is it the case that it is only with our senses that we connect with this reality in which we live, work, play and suffer and
     is it the case that these senses detect information from elements outside of our bodies, from the people we meet and greet, like or dislike and from our environment, things we see and touch and breathe, the air and water, fire and earth and
     is it the case therefore that if we chose a different reality, ie, if we stop and consider the information we are allowing into our bodies and dream of a life we love and decide to go for it, saying ‘no this isn’t great…let me see now….what’s my dream….yes that’s it, i will choose these thoughts instead’, that it is a force outside of our habitually programmed reality that can dream and imagine other realities, can make a choice as a painter choses her colours, and brings about a new reality, a new painting and
     is it the case that if we collectively have this ability, we are all therefore consciously (processing approx 2000 bits of information@sec) or subconsciously (processing approx 400billion bits of information@sec) creating our own individual realities and as a collective the reality of the dream of this planet, how earth functions….right now…. and
     is it the case that this power, this omnipotence which is our essence, which though under our noses, with us every step of the way, is hidden from us simply because we have chosen and continue each day to choose a reality which seeks happiness in competition instead of in relaxation….and
     is it the case that this pressure to compete, to be better than others, sets us at odds with others and we become suspicious of others and so become fearful and then we have children and our children learn to fear and so they too decide to compete and slowly become more and more lost, further and further away from their true essence, and as they grow, day by day, year by year, they eventually find themselves so far from their true essence that they become unable to see it anymore, and
     is it the case that even though we are so lost, we are constantly being guided back but we don’t see the guides or if we do, most of the time we misinterpret their words, forget their words, they who have said things like ” No one will say, ‘Look, here it is!’ or, ‘There it is!’; because the Kingdom of God is within you’  or  ”…..the world offers itself to your imagination, calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting – over and over announcing your place in the family of things’ (mary oliver, excerpt ‘wild geese’)

Well of course,
it is the case, it’s perfectly the case, this is how I see things, so it’s all completely 100% without question the case for me and only for me, today, my truth. What’s your truth today?

IT’S ALWAYS ME

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No matter what I do, where I go, who I meet, what age I am, what I call myself, whether I succeed or fail,
I always seem to be the same person.
This sea is crossed,
that mountain is climbed,
this is where I live,
that is where I used to live,
this depression is experienced,
that elation is felt,
this venture is over,
that venture is planned,
this I called myself once,
that was the day I had;
I recharge at night and begin another day.
At the core of this circle of life I dwell, just the same unchanging me…. always…. the same…. forever and ever and ever.

May

Bealtaine Celebrations at the Kilkenny School of Druidry
Bealtaine Celebrations at the Kilkenny School of Druidry

I continue to be amazed at the great winds of energy that blow through me during the great Celtic/pre-Christian festivals of the year. Bealtaine for me, which I have written about in a recent blog was no exception. On the first of May, I renewed my commitment to music, to which the universe responded to by sending to me an angel that same day, in the form of a Sebastian, fellow soul seeker on his journey walking thru Ireland, a pilgrimage to the deeper roots of his being. We celebrated the festival with druids to which it transpired he had a strong connection. It was a baptism of love for Sebastian, as it was his first time to be part of a druid gathering. For 2 weeks he stayed with me. We shared music, inspiration and challenge. His sincere love of the truth echoed in my heart. When we parted company it was like observing all his wonderful attributes, aware of them deeply and simply watching them float away, yet knowing they’re always deep inside. It was for me an affirmation of the path I follow and a call to stay on this path, the path of my own truth.

I continue to write music. Sebastian inspired a version of Shenandoah, the great song of the river.  At the Bealtaine druid gathering I sang my rendition of Psalm 23, The Lords my Shepherd. The host, Howard, suggested I sing more psalms and so my version of Psalm 145 has manifested. I hope to record it soon.

I have become part of a wonderful expressive arts group, founded on the idea of expression and performance can be low skill, high sensitivity and working with all mediums including word, sound, movement, form and colour. Our current project ‘The Life of Rumi’ tells his story in music, dance and story telling. We made our debut performance in the RDS Dublin in April and are planning other performances.

And lastly to top all that I have come across a wonderful teacher, guide, healer, named Miranda Macpherson. I was so inspired by her website  www.mirandamacpherson.com that I wrote her this letter

Dear Miranda

I watched your latest interview on  the Youtube channel Conscious TV, and wish to acknowledge the inspiration and support your words and presence have given me in further integrating my ego into this vast endless unknowing we call life. I am prompted to thank your femininity for this integration. My own ‘spiritual practice’ has been very masculine. When the ego arises to throw a spanner in the works my response, let’s say it was anger, was to say,

‘this is anger, its fine.. it’s not mine’

The declaration ‘it’s not mine’ is so loaded. In my experience of these words, they have the capacity to instantly isolate all of known existence from spirit. One is placed in a black and white world of ‘well do you want to wallow in your own self-pity in this vale of tears or do you want to set your attention on higher realms’. This practice may tick all the boxes for others, but for me there has always been something missing. You, as I perceive you, speak of

‘the relaxation of the ego rather that the annihilation of the ego’

The ego as frightened and lost as it maybe, is still a part of the whole. So these days thanks to you and other wonderful inspirations, when my old friend anger arises, the nothingness of the masculine’s very direct cutting to the core is alerted but now, acts in unison with that fluidity and flow that, it appears, only the river of the feminine can bestow.

There is Black and white, Day and night, Body and soul, Heaven and earth

There’s so many levels of reality and perception, so many extremes, so many ways we can isolate ourselves into very confining boxes of thought, of belief, of habit, of comfort. With my songs and sounds, I find a way of dancing with, around and between all the extremes into the middle ground, into the present moment.  I feel your energy, your flow and it supports the energy and flow of my ever-changing dance. I would love to sing my songs for you in person sometime. For now I sing with you the song that goes as follows:

What’s it like to completely live in the moment?  See what arises, Be with what arises

What’s holding you back from expanding your full potential?  See what arises, Be with what arises

(having asked yourself these 2 questions…….ask yourself) What’s holding you now?  See what arises, Be with what arises

It would be good to gather with others and support one another in asking these questions in a spirit of love, openness, curiosity, humility, trust, patience, willingness and a sincere search for the truth. I’m interested in starting such a group in Ireland or elsewhere.

‘We come home together or we do not come home at all’

With Gratitude and Love

Fionntáin

 

 

NEW HOUSE CONCERT TOUR

 

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FIONNTÁINS
NEW HOUSE CONCERT TOUR  

 Over the last year a lot of changes have occurred in my life which have inspired me to write new songs and create new sounds. With these my body, mind and spirit open fully to the world. With these I bathe in beauty. With these I travel to the four corners of Ireland, of Europe, of the Earth sharing my gift. I would love to share this gift with you and your friends in your home or any other small space/venue. The songs and sounds are of love, healing and inspiration, which bestow a meditative, chilled out atmosphere on the event. Would you like to have a concert in your own home? If yes, please do contact me. If you know of anyone who might like such a concert please let them know

 WHAT IS A HOUSE CONCERT? 
It’s an invitation only concert in someone’s home presented by the host who does not profit from the event and who may house the performer for the night of the gig. It can be presented in an average size livingroom with usually a minimum of 25 people [to ensure a good atmosphere], 10 to 15 euro each, paid
 to the performer. Indeed it can also be presented in a garden, community room, art gallery, shop, church, school room or any other space where people are gathered to focus on the music
DEDICATION
At this time of Beltaine, a birthing time of new ideas and ventures, I dedicate my house concert adventure to all the beautiful people I’ve known who’ve helped me bridge the masculine/feminine divide

Bealtaine

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Why am I drawn so much to these ancient festivals of life. I don’t know. But I do know I love the ritual, the symbolic marking of a change in the seasons. I feel it in my bones, which im getting in touch with much more these days. I feel in my heart. The suns rising and gradually turning up the heat for the summer, turning up the heat in the land in the trees in the birds and the bees in the oceans and hills heightened pleasure and thrills. Some say the celts as part of their bealtaine rituals celebrated this new fertility by making love in the fields to bless the fertility of the land. Sex becomes a prayer for a good harvest. That’s what I call living life to the full.

image: ‘Ayahuasca Visionary Art’ by Howard G Charging, flickr.com

The Body’s Bursting with New Life Again (ode to the spring equinox)

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And my body feels it all,
Is joyful with it all,
Is resisting it all,
Is bursting through it all.
Please be with my body in this pregnant moment of such potent,
Tipping the equatorial balance in favour of bliss.
Please be with my emotions in this pregnant moment of such potent,
Tipping the equatorial balance in favour of bliss.
Please be with my thoughts in this pregnant moment of such potent,
Tipping the equatorial balance in favour of bliss,
In favour of bliss.

I know there is more and more and more and endlessly more in the happiness of this.
This birthing hour gives life to it’s death over and over and over and endlessly over again and again and again.

The body’s bursting through itself into itself.
The body’s bursting out of itself into I know not.
My body’s just bursting and crying out, Help!

Oh Jesus, I am of man, I am of woman, I am.
Oh yes, oh fuck, I am of muck, of wind, of sun and sea, I am.
In the crack and crevise I trust my rod.
Into the underworld and the dark I erect my staff.
Immaculate conception of the perception of new life.
In my womb I am born again and again and endlessly again,
bursting through this moment of such potent

credit: ‘Ayahuasca Visionary Art’ by Howard G Charging, flickr.com

The Power of My Expression

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Every colour I use
Every receptacle I choose
Every step, Every note
Every word that gets my vote
Is just the power of
Trust in the power of
Just in
the power of my expression

Every impulse Ive had
All inspiration that makes me glad
Every good thing and bad
Every time Ive really felt mad
Is just the power of
Trust in the power of
Just in
the power of my expression

Every nation Ive known
All the dark prejudice Ive ever shown
Every woman Ive sought
All the chocolate that Ive bought
Is just the power of
Trust in the power of
Just in
the power of my expression

My latest Radio Interview

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For my latest radio interview click on the link below (may not work on mobile)

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/creatingcalmnetwork2/2014/03/08/healing-from-harmony-hall-with-frances-micklem

Message to the feminine at Imbolc, this ancient celtic fire festival

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Beautiful Feminine, I, your companion the Masculine, address you with a spirit of openness and childlike carefree abandon at this time of seasonal change, Imbolc, one of the great ancestral high points of the year. I am grateful for your nurturing motherhood, your loving care, your pleasuring intimacies, your passion, your flow, your surrender, your dance, your challenging no nonsense Goddess. Now, venturing freely onto virgin territory, pregnant as it is with life ever abundant, I turn from winters darkness and introvertion and praise the lengthening days and strengthening light of spring and ask, that if this game called life continues, my expectations and desires will manifest wonderfully in boundless births of love. I am love, the same love that you are and so I also ask that if this game called life continues, your expectations, your desires will manifest wonderfully, with lots of gaiety, in more of the same boundless god births of love. X 🙂

Photo ‘Beginning-Happiness’ by Ferran Jordà, flicker.com

THE GREATEST, THE BRAVEST, THE MOST BEAUTIFUL

‘And now stays faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.’
St pauls letter to the corinthians 13:13

Who is the bravest, the fairest, who is the greatest, what is the greatest? Are not all men and women equal in the sight of god. Are not all things equal in the sight of god? Love requires fear as it’s opposite as beauty brings forth ugliness (inspired by the words of Howard Jacobson ‘Christianity part 1 Jesus the Jew, Channel 4 documentary Youtube 34.28) The greatest, the fairest, the most wonderful are indefinable for they can only be a subjective perception within the confines of the personal apparatus available to us, ie our own body and as this is in a constant state of change, so perception is constantly changing. Any comment about what is the greatest, the most beautiful etc., can therefore only be taken with a pinch of salt. It’s a playful, funny game, that’s all it can be, for these words are no more that leaves in a breeze. The only obstacle to accepting anyones words, anyones critique on beauty or any other subject is our own feelings. Yes we’re back to our own feelings again, our own thoughts and body sensations that are arrising in any given moment. Refer to my online book http://www.aschouving.com for more on emotions, sensations and thoughts, ‘the est of life’

Beware of serious comparison, instead notice your feelings, take heed of your breath, and know that if your calm easy smile seems lost, it’s a sign for you that something within needs healing, needs relaxing. Take the log out of your own eye first, then you may be able to see the speck in the other. Be aware always of how you are inside moment by moment and as you grow in self awareness, giving time to yourself, to nurture yourself, from this place of love and peace you will find there will be no longer any need to select the one that is greater, fairer, braver than anyone else.

The power in the changing of the seasons.

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Last December Solstice, the darkest night, I completed my first ebook called Aschouving, pushing the publish button at the beautiful stone circle at Lough Gur, near Limerick, Ireland. At the Spring equinox I wrote a poem called ‘Ode to the Spring Equinox’, what else!! Summer solstice manifested a fantastic song called ‘I can’t fly’ inspired by the lyrics of an 8 year old. On the same day I went into my garden took a video, effortlessly wrote another poem on the same theme as the video which I called ‘Stillness’. Without a doubt the most electric day for me in my house so far this year or maybe any year. Autumn equinox found me in Dublin where I watched the sun rising over the horizon like never before and visited a wonderful pop up exhibition of creativity called ‘Granby Park’. Samhain is the old Irish name for Halloween and yet again another powerful experience, this time a more intimate personal inner transformation and healing as I continue to fumble about in this illusion I call life. And turning full circle the inner work deepens this Winter solstice as im called to more and more stillness found in a very grounding breathing technique called Buteyko. Ancient Irish tradition speaks of these seasons as times of personal and collective transformation, when the boundaries between this reality and the great unknowing become less rigid, more fluid, allowing us all to step into another world if we so wish. This has being my experience during 2013 🙂

Voices In My Head

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I watched a wonderful talk in the TED series given by Eleanor Longden which touched me very deeply. She spoke of her childhood abuse, hearing disturbing voices in her head as a young adult, dealing with psychiatric misdiagnosis and further abuse and thru the help of compassionate loving people finding the power within to heal herself. I don’t experience disturbing voices in my head, but my thought process has been a constant disturbing struggle for me. I felt a connection and listened on. It was the old story of triumph through adversity, but one thing that struck me was that the language of love, compassion, facing her ‘demons’ and discovering a healing power within, was delivered with no reference made to god, spirit or religion; the power to heal was within herself.

I have become aware of a life time of looking outside of myself for guidance, help, inspiration to find the power within to heal the hurt, caused by my own ‘voices’ in my head. You need help to discover you can heal yourself, so you ask someone else to show you. Friends, workshops, talks, courses, books, retreats, more books all of which were of great assistance to me but were all glazed with that energy I give to other people, giving my own energy away, because I feel something outside of me has the key to my happiness and freedom. And one of the greatest influences for me in constantly looking outside of myself for inspiration was religion. You will find your salvation in God….up there in Heaven!

The need for another to heal you, is a human construct called ‘salvation’. Whether you call yourself catholic or protestant, hindu or muslim, agnostic or atheist, buddhist or taoist, tribalist or nationalist, some other religionist, don’t know-ist or don’t care-ist, it doesn’t matter, there is a strong vibration pulsing thru this earth that attracts most of us to greater or lesser degrees to the belief, deep-seated subconscious belief that happiness, contentment, peace, healing ie. salvation from the strife and turmoil, pains and woes of this life is found in something outside of ourselves, lovers, mothers, doctors, healers, teachers, preachers, etc. etc.. It is a distraction. Where does this energy of ‘distraction’ comes from, I don’t no. What is its objective, I don’t know. I do know it sent me on a spiral of guilt, low self-esteem and warring thought processes that I’ve spent all of my adult life struggling with. In general our society, through force, (typically mental force and the younger the child the better so the mental force appears quite benign), suppresses most of the childs creativity, yet leaves a vestige of the beauty, so that as the child grows there is an increasing awareness of 2 seemingly opposing views within, setting up within the child a warring thought process inside which only finds its salvation in some god or other outside of the self.

Today I find myself for the first time in a zone where the warring thought processes have made peace. It is a calmer place. The thoughts are still there, but there’s an inner knowing that thy are ok. They are signposts for me, showing me where healing is required. Just as Eleanor made friends with the voices in her head, I have made friends with the thoughts in mine. Eleanor might say: ‘The most difficult feelings represent those parts most hurt. These voices need to be shown the greatest compassion and care, acceptance and respect’. Along with my emotions and body sensations, my thoughts reflect the true essence of my being. When you come home to your own thoughts, emotions and the sensations of your body, and make peace with them, healing begins. This is who the healer is. This is who the savior is. This is who the God / Goddess is. It is you and will only ever be you.

Thanks so much to Eleanor Longden for the inspiration, the switch that turned another light on. And to all the loving people I’ve met down through the years, all the switches I’ve known. I respond to you all with my open loving heart: continue to be electrifying and ‘Heal thyself’.

🙂

Power, Energy and Light

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Power, energy and light remind us of electricity and other finite phenomenon outside of ourselves, but do not forget, as you breathe in and out, your own omnipotent infinite unique universal powerhouse of energy and light that dwells within.

image credit:  conscious/subconscious by Aldo Cauchi Savona, Flickr

Breath

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‘I wont be holding my breath.’
‘Breathtaking.’
‘Take a breather.’
‘Save your breath.’

All these common phrases suggest lives lived in tension, high in the chest, keeping control of the breath. We breathe as little as possible for fear of something too blissful too wonderful, too electrifying, too magnetic, too much like heaven. Breathe easy and live in heaven.

 

image credit:  The US National Archives, Flickr.

The Light

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I post this message from my mountain retreat in the Glen of Aherlow, Tipperary. The light is fading and the sounds of distant motors are ever present. The clouds brush along the ridge of ancient Crotta Cliach. The light is still fading. What then do I need? Only to breathe and smile, be and receive, receive all the nourishment I need for mind and body, heart and soul. The light is still fading. In this silence, in this feminine flow, my body fades too. Life is wonderful. Alleluia!!

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The light is rising. My body rises too. In this masculine moment, birds all round are sounding. Appearing and disappearing double jet lines dare to split the sky in two. The clouds still brush along the ridge of Crotta Cliach. Happy day.

The Power Game

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To paraphrase Marianne Williamson, it’s not my darkness I’m most afraid of (I’ve been fumbling freely about in the dark for many years now) it’s my light. To paraphrase Jesus, instead of loving my light and placing it on the table top for all to see, I’ve hidden it from view. This has been changing, gradually in recent years, thanks largely to some beautiful people I’ve met including a wonderfully loving challenging community of healers who use a technique called “Clearing’ which I have written about at http://www.aschouving.com (email me for the password). As clearing progresses, it opens up new vistas, the box gets larger, yet it’s still a box. And the box I’m in at present appears to have firmly entrenched at its boundaries: resistance to the ‘disapproval of others’ and the need to have ‘control over others’. It’s a power game. I haven’t accepted my own power, my own light, the fire of my existence, so I’ve survived mainly like a parasite feeding deceitfully, mostly subconsciously, on the power of others, their likes and dislikes. Therefore, their disapproval was never appreciated. I have only wanted one thing: control. Now it’s different, today it’s clear, this is my prayer: I want to accept this fear of the disapproval of others and the need for control of others. That’s not much to ask for, is it?

Addendum. One week later.
It is with great joy and wonder that I bring the news that my prayer has been answered, in as much as it is possible for me to perceive. Alleluia.

Fantasy

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Oh Jesus i’m tired, tired of trying
Trying to control certainty in unpredictability
Give me fantasy
All that i want i have
Let me live in fantasy
All the pleasure i can dream is mine
I will follow the instincts and intuition of my
omnipotent heart and only my omnipotent heart
And live
On this beautiful summers ene
I fall on a bench along the quay and sun myself,
letting the water wash over me,
with the crows cawing loud in the trees.
Heavens this moment in time,
where a heart once wearied now finds ease

 

Credits

Inspired by a poem found on the Gasworks Bridge Clonmel, by Charles J Boland feb 1892

image Dawn by Alice Popkorn.  Flickr.com

 

 

Makes Sense

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Preface
The only thing that makes sense in this world
is that which only you perceive thru your eyes, nose, ears, taste, touch
and all the other plethora of information sensors
located in, on, and around your whole body,
sometimes extending for miles and endless miles around,
strangely enough

All that you know is only that which you can sense.
How else do you know anything.
My teacher told me this
My teacher told me that
But it is I, only I who can see the sense of it

So

The only thing that can make sense to me, is that which only I can sense

So

I am what I sense

So

If I’m only that which I can sense

Therefore

all that I sense is me

There is no other thing, no other place to sing
There is no other one but me, no other one but me

It’s neither right nor wrong, It’s neither good nor bad
It’s just some feelings that make me glad which I now sense in me

Does this makes sense to thee my love?
Well sing it now in harmony.
Does this makes sense to thee my love
or is it all just baloney?

A Second Best Thing (Latest)

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This is Clonmel, at least it’s what I’ve heard.
Haven’t seen much of it at all,
hanging around in this other room all the time.
I’m from elsewhere can’t remember why I came here.
Perforating common thread, perfectionately conceived, born to perform and
left out here in this second best place, a second best thing waiting to perform

Yet you, you are looking at me.
This accidental accompaniment to your mentors recitation.
His poem is now finished, the audience departed,
yet you my friend, you are still looking at me

Go ahead please do look at me
Let me be born again, allow me to perform again.
Bones decaying, skin sagging, edges fraying, joints needing stitching
Dirty.
You see sadness and are heavy and you leave me

You walk these glorious streets away from me,
the heaviness lingering.
You remember me, see me again.
You taste me, smell me, listen to me, touch me, oh yes please do touch me

You accept and in acceptance transcend the sadness that weighed heavy on you
My beautiful poet
You beautiful being

Born of sensual flow and rhythmic thrust of hand,
embellished with branch and blossom,
I am drapery for hand and arm, shoulder and chest, back and breast.
Skin.
Yet in these endless streets of pure potential,
I’m falling for another
My beautiful poet
You beautiful being
My occidental lover
I kiss you with these words
I’m left out here in this second best place, a second best thing waiting to perform

Credits: Image ‘living in a colorful world’ by AlicePopKorn, flicker.com

Stillness

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June the 21st this year was a high energy day for me, lots going on in my house, don’t know whether it was the time of year or what, but it was all good. In the midst of all the activity I took this video of my latest poem. You’ll find a transcript of it below. In brackets are the lines omitted from the video…my mind was on other things at that point in the shoot, probably thinking about sex or something. I like the idea of the audio and visual presentation and I want to video more of my poetry and songs. I want a videographer to give me a hand….any ideas?

At the heart of all there is stillness.
But sure of course there is.
Haven’t you ever noticed? 

At the eye of the storm there is stillness.
At the point of a blast there is stillness.

Stillness.

I sing one hundred thousand million songs.
I dance one hundred thousand million steps.
I walk the globe and  fly to mars;
on through the universe to one hundred thousand billion stars.
I give the crowds all the music they can take,
all the money they can make,
all the images they see as real,
all the pleasure they can feel,
with nothing but stillness.

(Take a break, a mindful break and now another.
Take a breath, a mindful breath and now another.
Take the time to know who you really are.
Take the time to greet who you really are,
and smile all day long, for it’s all but a gift from……..) stillness

A pure non-sensical whimsical beingness.
For less than the least price imaginable.
Always there for you, asking nothing of you,
effortlessly staining and cleansing the very body, mind and soul it has bestowed on you
(or whatever…)

Hold it! Don’t move! B as u r.
Wake up… Be still… Notice…
Your observation of reality is the only reality.
Breathe… Smile… Have fun!

Worship

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‘All forms of worship and devotion are the inappropriate substitute for the devotion we all feel for god’
Russell Brand quoting a Swami

One might also say:
All forms of worship and devotion are the inappropriate substitute for the devotion we all feel for ourselves, our true selves

Jesus said something like
‘LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOUR AS YOU LOVE YOURSELF’

 

photographer:  Berit Alits, Tipperary, Ireland.

YOU ARE THE LIGHT OF THE WORLD!

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Matthew 5:14-16

English Standard Version (ESV)

“You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others……”

Photo: ‘Lilie’ by Jo*DNo, flicker.com

I AM

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I am the sun that dances through the skies, bouncing on the moon, a mavericks high noon
I am that moon too, I am, and though I’ve forgotten why, I’ve shoved and pushed and kicked myself higher and higher in the sky, tired
I am the day which I now shall stretch and the trees which well we’re doing just fine
I am the rain which from now on will only fall at night and at times and intensities during light hours at my behest
I am the sea and a bloody great big sea I am too….. I don’t know what to do with me……. I’ll have to wait and see about the sea.
I am estate agents and solicitors and we need we no more for…..I am substance and a home shall I materialize for me by the sea….. and again in the mountains and again in the city and the flat plains and desert and the artics and the tropics and Mars and the stars and by the brook flowing beneath the ivy arch bridge…. yes a home shall I materialize for me where ever I want it to be

I am omnipotent, I need electricity and oil and diesel and gas and turf and coal and timber and biomass no more

I am omniscient, I need teachers and preachers and doctors and surgeons and gurus and healers and scientists and researchers and books and guides and manuals and webpages and references to this and that and links to this which link to that and encyclopedias and wikipedias and google and facebook and linkedin and tumbler and gmail for emails and wordpress and blogger no more ….. wait no I will keep wordpress and blogger and search engines and gmail for a little longer until I master the art of self-sufficiency, the art of pure bliss existence I hear so much about and I feel increasingly so much (about the place…. or something like that….. or maybe self-sufficiency in community might just be the answer to the mystery that has never posed any questions besides those that arose in our own heads.)

And as I am omnipotent and omniscient, I need money and banking and economies and accounting and overdrafts and loans and credits and debits and forms to fill in and forms to fill out no more
I am omnipresent, I need cars and carriers and motorcycles and scooters and skylifts and ships and speed boats and speed jets and hovercrafts and helicopters and trucks and trains and trams and vans and prams and tubes and metros and aeroplanes and cable cars and velotaxis and hailing taxis and rickshaws and rockets and satellites and submarines and flying carpets and brooms and hot air balloons and buses and trucks no more. Yes me… I am ….I am transport which I now set aside except for bicycles, which I now declare are always in pristine condition, tyres fully inflated, complete with everlasting paint finishes and with the ability to glide effortlessly up the hill against the wind just as they always do facing down the hill with the wind at their backs. I am multi point location, I am where I desire to be at any time

I am food. I love my pleasure, my sustenance, my delight, my honey. But not all of me I love you see. Frogs legs and escargot and caviar and tuna and chicken mcnuggets and french fries and burgers and tomato sauce and brown sauce and onion wings and cocaine, I mean coke and plain sugar and crisps and frozen pizza and processed ham and sausages and black and white pudding and rashers and frosties and cheerios and iostonic and bisotonic and nogoodtonics and margarine (why do we need margarine anyway) and food of undisclosed origin and ingredients, all these I can do without. Ah! But chocolate cooked to retain the goodness of the cocoa bean or icecream made from the milk of a no-chemical cow, or the oat flakes from some neighbors organic farm and the juice of an apple from some fine local orchard, the free range omelette cooked with fun over an open fire and the salad from ones garden tossed in the evening sun, noodle soup in Thai, the spice of Indi-i, and your own baked brownbread, buttered and no-sugar jammed, and hot honeyed whiskey on a cold wet windy wintry night by the fire (which these days could be any night of the year in Ireland) .

I am all this and more, so much more it’s not possible to write it all, and if it were I just don’t want to, cause it just keeps coming and coming and it will get very tedious and boring, so it’s just as easy for me to say I AM.

🙂

 

credit: photo Felicidad by Aidarile,  Flickr

The Body’s Bursting with New Life Again (ode to the spring equinox 2013)

It is said by some that at such times as these, ie the changing of the seasons, the veil between the seen and unseen, the world and the underworld, the human and the little people, becomes more transparent….a time of heightened energy. In recent months I have become very interested in the old irish ‘feel’ for life and the environment, a ‘feeling’ shared by many other ancient indigenous tribes around the world, manifesting principally in a deep connection and respect for the land and the sky. Learning about these past beliefs, customs and traditions reignites for me dormant energies within. I love the idea of heightened energies at the transition of things, the borders of things, even the threshold of a house…..standing there you’re neither in nor out….must try it for a while sometime. So today, the first day of May, as I mark the coming of summer, I like the idea of pausing for a while in this time of transition and bringing to mind spring, which only seems to have started in the last fortnight or so. So, being the omnipotent god that I am, I shall permit spring to stay with us a little longer, it’s only fair really…. I mean, come on…. and I’d like to share with you this poem I wrote at the spring equinox, a similar moment of heightened energy or at least that’s how it appeared to me. I would suggest you take a deep breath……take another one…..go on, take another while you’re at it….now, see how this poem ‘feels’ to you

ODE TO THE SPRING EQUINOX 2013

It’s 5 am and I lie awake,
bursting through this moment of such potent.
This conception of the perception of this…..and now……
in expectation of the creation of newness,
I know that this moment of awareness is all there is

And my body feels it all,
Is joyful with it all,
Is resisting it all,
Is bursting through it all.
Please be with my body in this pregnant moment of such potent,
Tipping the equatorial balance in favour of bliss.
Please be with my emotions in this pregnant moment of such potent,
Tipping the equatorial balance in favour of bliss.
Please be with my thoughts in this pregnant moment of such potent,
Tipping the equatorial balance in favour of bliss,
In favour of bliss.

I know there is more and more and more and endlessly more in the happiness of this.
This birthing hour gives life to it’s death over and over and over and endlessly over again and again and again.

The body’s bursting through itself into itself.
The body’s bursting out of itself into I know not.
My body’s just bursting and crying out, Help!

Oh Jesus, I am of man, I am of woman, I am.
Oh yes, oh fuck, I am of muck, of wind, of sun and sea, I am.
In the crack and crevise I trust my rod.
Into the underworld and the dark I erect my staff.
Immaculate conception of the perception of new life.
In my womb I am born again and again and endlessly again,
bursting through this moment of such potent

Inner Peace

If you can start the day without caffeine,

If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,

If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,

If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,

If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time,

If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,

If you can conquer tension without medical help,

If you can relax without alcohol,

If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,

Then You Are Probably

The Family Dog!

And you thought I was going to get all spiritual …

Moral of the story:

Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can’t eat it or play with it, pee on it and walk away!

Credit: thanks to my brother cathal for sending this to me

Have a Happy Summer …..  Ruff Ruff !!

IT’S ALWAYS ME

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No matter what I do, where I go, who I meet, what age I am, what I call myself, whether I succeed or fail,
I always seem to be the same person.
This sea is crossed,
that mountain is climbed,
this is where I live,
that is where I used to live,
this depression is experienced,
that elation is felt,
this venture is over,
that venture is planned,
this I called myself once,
that was the day I had;
I recharge at night and begin another day.
At the core of this circle of life I dwell, just the same old unchanging me…. always…. the same…. forever and ever and ever.

Vessel of Love

Vessel of Love I come to greet
Let me kneel before your feet

You place your hands upon my head
This living song awakes the dead

Indwelling with this silent crowd
My heart transforms this heavy shroud

I lose control, I seek to find
I bring Gods presence back to mind

I lift my eyes towards your throne
And gaze upon the great unknown

Scrambling on the edge of time
I’m twirling now and all’s in rhyme

What I see I know is fine
There is no way that it is mine

So clearly felt within this shrine
It’s offered now to the Divine

THRILLOGY: This, Song, And More

This

asleep, the stirring, what is this?…..oh yes…. lets give this another go,

cradled and alive to this as we always are

rebirthed to this

suckling at the nipple of this

blissfully, painfully, transcending in ritual the cellular encumbrance of this

to bask in the glow of this new light

standing tall, facing all, I feel this energy

this animated surrender, is at your discretion always

and I recommend this…….song

Song

I came I saw I conquered all
I loved I laughed surrendered all
I saw myself for the first time
So vulnerable, so clear of mind

I come I go don’t mind at all
Was it a lie, its not a lie
I rise I fall, a foetal crawl, I stand up tall
I guess that’s life

No one to blame I ran into the mouth of the flame
Not used to the burn I grew cold enough
The sun died enough
Ain’t it crazy how

I come I go don’t mind at all
Was it a lie, its not a lie
I come I go, a foetal haul, then stand up tall
I guess that’s life….

I come I go don’t mind at all
Was it a lie, its not a lie
I rise I fall, a foetal crawl, I stand up tall
I guess that’s life….

Don’t you be afraid baby!
Don’t you be afraid baby!

And More

Oh yes theres more and more and more

so much more and more and I love to stand and move my head

and let the flow reveal itself in flesh and bone and at the tips of all things.

Ah yes, to move to a groove and lose myself with him and her.

Timidity, temerity to you and me they’re all the same.

Ye sons and daughters of the earth behold the beauty,

ye sons and daughters of the earth may I feed you!

Pick up your rod and staff for with these you will find comfort and behold your beauty.

Ye sons and daughters of the earth may I feed you!

credits:
Lets Begin, More by Fionntáin
Song by Fionntáin is based on the song ‘Notes on a History’ by Nia Andrews  http://niaandrews.bandcamp.com/track/notes-on-a-history

Aschouving – Is This Happiness?

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ASCHOUVING – IS THIS HAPPINESS?

During 2012, I’ve had a wonderful time focusing on and writing about what for me appears to be the key ingredients for healing and happiness. I present to you my ‘findings’ in this publication which I call ‘Aschouving – Is This Happiness ‘ and which I have pleasure in officially launching this frosty sunny day of Jan 2013. This publication is available now free online. I include an excerpt for you in this post and a link to the full publication. Enjoy!

ASCHOUVING (EXCERPT)

PREFACE

So this is it. The end of all Q&As. All that you perceive right now, there is nothing else. These words sensed within, creating ripples through all the cells of your body and beyond to the mysterious and unknown. In this flow there is everything, all that you feel you need, the opportunities to go with the flow or resist the flow. Within the flow we find all our emotions, body sensations and thoughts, everything from happy to sad, and also all the tools we feel we need to navigate our way against or with the flow. The whole notion of having to attain something, get somewhere, be someone other than who we are, is so engrained in our psyche, so habitual that we spend most of our lives distracted, looking somewhere else rather than at ‘this’. There are easier ways to live. So, take a deep breath, smile and know that you have everything you feel you need, right now.

 TO READ THE FULL PUBLICATION CLICK HERE

Humans

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We are physical beings. The greatest expression of this physical reality is considered by most to be loving sexual union between two consenting adults. But there is more and this more is something that cannot be written down, cannot be defined, it can only be sensed. For as soon as you begin to define it, you distract from the very essence you wish to define. If I do continue to write, it’s not because I have anything new to say. It is only because what I’m writing about already exists and somehow through the writing, because it comes naturally and effortlessly to me, I am already the essence of that which I am attempting to describe and I wish to look at myself from all sorts of different angles, in this case with words. It’s a game. An experiment. Childplay. Creativity…….

So for the fun of it, I shall describe what this ‘more’ looks like through my uniquely tinted spectacles. It can be summed up in Teilhard de Chardin’s wonderfully succinct quote ‘Union Differentiates’. As physical beings we act as if we are not complete, there is something missing which we must find…….we are living in a crazy world that must be healed, made sane. A commonly acceptable approach to this dilemma is to look beyond ourselves and seek communion with others. Thus our goal and focus in finding our way to ‘salvation’, a ‘better life’, ‘happiness’ or however you wish to describe it, is union. Yet, union implies separation, suggests we are disconnected. We have become separated, disconnected from Heaven. We must regain heaven. It is to be worked for through good deeds, being kind, respectful to your neighbour, finding union with others, sexually or otherwise. So we establish, based on this belief in separation, endless codes of behavior, rules and regulations, statutes and laws, practices and rituals, which seek to guide us to this ‘union’. Yet in their complexities and openness to constant revision and limitless interpretation, we find only more dissatisfaction. Without one taking responsibility for what is happening in each moment, within, in ones emotions, in ones body and in ones thought, all the rules and regulations of our world, are worthless. They are distractions. Happiness, contentment, peace, bliss, these all exist now. They depend on nothing. They ask for nothing, no qualifications, no good deeds. They are found in no one else, but you. They are within. Jesus said: ‘Heaven is within you’.

So take a deep breath, relax, smile and know that you are that which you are seeking. We are physical beings but there is more; and the only thing that’s perventing us from experiencing it, is ourselves. How much Bliss can you take today? I will be writing more on this and similar topics very soon, so stay tuned. Thanks for reading. If you have any comments or questions I would be delighted to receive them.

Gratitude : Thanks to Freya Lawton for introducing me to ‘union differentiates’, and to Eric Dowsett and the Worldwide Clearing Community for the continuing inspiration

The Sheeps Head as painted by The White House

Adoring the curve, lightly expanding,
round, through, too, through, and beyond.
Standing still I’m brought to my knees,
Falling deeper into that feeling of want

Adoring that note, its rhyme and its rhythm,
toned, overtoned and throned.
Its never that, its always this.
Falling deeper into this feeling of want

Adoring the wave, all stiff with its colour,
embracing embarrassment, alive to the other.
Knowing an ease on the edge of unknowing.
Falling deeper into this feeling of want

Adoring the love that lies in the hate,
the swerve in the straight,
the front in the back of that loving attack.
Falling deeper into this feeling of want

Adoring the adoring………..  (pause)
feeling the pull to this,
the searching for that;
the uneasing of an evening in the expanse of the pleasing,
the pleasing which is teasing the crumbling of once freezing
the heart and its flowing…………  (pause)
until,
there’s a stilling, a sensing and a smiling
as the searching can be switching to this sounding
thats allowing for all flowing in this
wondrous….wondrous…..now…….Wow

Everything and everyone,
Everything and everyone,
Everything and everyone
finds the one fulfillment…..in this
wondrous…..wondrous……..now

Oh! To be together again

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In the beginning was God. Since then God has had a rollercoaster of a ride, rough, smooth, being ignored, abused, praised and called all sorts of names. Yet resilience resides. Under whatever guise you wish to experience God, God still is and is just the same as ever

So back to the beginning again. God. For whatever reason, I don’t know, and it doesn’t seem to matter, God or Presence is the term i will use, separated into Silence and Sound. From the very moment of this separation, Desire arose in order to find ways to reunite silence and sound. Desire opened the doors to many new experiences, leading one on different routes back to union, routes of variable duration and ease/unease, some instant, some short, some long and some so convoluted one would be forgiven for thinking they were on the road to ‘hell’. But it feels like the length of the route is of no consequence. Certainly if you pit the framework of time against the expansiveness of eternity then the issue of duration quickly dissolves. All of life as we humans experience it, our family, relationships, place, country, job, entertainments, food, shelter, etc., is an opportunity to reunite silence and sound.

Desire presents itself in many forms. It is the everpresent impulse behind all we experience, ie., our emotions, sensations and thoughts or as I say your E.S.T.. Desire has got a ‘bad reputation’. It has selfish connotations. But there’s a lot to be said for selfishness, especially the part about taking care of your interests. How are we supposed to be kind to others if we are not kind to ourselves, ie, give ourselves that which we desire?

Jesus said ‘ love your neighbour as you love yourself ‘. Matt 22:39

The ‘love yourself’ part has been discretely side tracked, becoming one of the greatest errors of emphasis in the history of the human race. For the most part we praise and award those who are giving, charitable, looking out for others. These are notable qualities and more easily quantified. But we have been slower in developing avenues to inner peace, harmony and love, choosing too readily the outward show

‘If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.’    1 cor 13:3

So i say love your desire, desire your love. Be good to yourself and experience selfishness…..go on see what’s its like….its not really what we’ve been brought up to believe at all. The greatest impulse for union we have is sexual union. It is an ever present impulse. In different cultures the attitudes to sex vary, but overall the human race deals with it with humour, defensiveness, lots of secrecy and lesser amounts of fun, openness and honesty. The desire for sexual union experienced in relationships is a manifestation of the original separation of sound and silence. Because it is our strongest desire, the key to our survival as a species, it will be the greatest source of unhappiness to us when unfulfilled. But we will delude ourselves if we feel we can fulfill this desire in a relationship with another person. First…..you must learn to love yourself, if some one helps you, good, it seems most of us need help and support….but it is you primarily who must do it. Feel and experience all your desires including your sexual desires. Spend time with yourself. We find our way back to union when we listen to the sounds we create and to the silence which awaits us, all of us, at all times.

To end… all the above is just words which have no purpose other than to direct us back to what is beyond the words. They arise and fall, live and die simultaneously. Constantly I am called to look beyond everything, all the experiences, people, places, words, back to Presence…….’Union Differentiates’  Teilhard de Chardin.

I give workshops which ‘Explore Your Own Unique Universal Vibration’, ie., ways of beginning to love ourselves again. I am reviewing the content at present and plan to have a revised presentation very soon. If you like what youre reading, then I invite to follow this blog and I’ll let you know when the revision is published.

Love yourself

Fionntáin

The God Song inspired by Wilfred Pelletier and Ted Poole

Wherever you are is home.
And the earth is paradise.
Wherever you set your feet is holy ground……….

You don’t live off like a parasite.
You live in it and it in you,
Or you dont survive,
Or you dont survive

And that is the only worship,
Of god there ever is,
The one above well really
Your own true love………

Budda, Allah, Shiva,
Eloha, Je ho va,
Gitche Manitou
Whatever name you use
Remember God is only ever found in you

Basuto, Basago,
Istu, Dia, Dio,
I see him here,
I see her over there………

Neat trick, they’re everywhere,
In the delight of despair,
In each folicle of your hair,
Deftly Dancing through the air

Budda, Allah, Shiva,
Eloha, Je ho va,
Gitche Manitou
Whatever name you use
Remember God is only ever found in you

Desiring constantly,
In pain and harmony,
Is now and til the end of this eternity………

Deo oemnipotenti
The big guy in the sky
The look, the laugh, the cry
A he, a she, you know it’s only ever I

Is highlighting philosophies and practices common to all peoples, cultures and religions of any benefit?

All life, all love, all emotions, thoughts and sensations happen only in the now
There is nothing else…..There is only this……Enjoy!

The current vibration speaks to me a lot about the convergence of a new global consciousness. I would like to add some more ingredients to the mix:

1. It appears to me that there are a lot of common denominators between the diverse range of philosophies available today to research and/or experience live or online

2. There is a strong energy suggesting that the times we live in, are an enhanced opportunity for transformation. Whether this can be stated as an energy that pertains to all citizens of earth is something I cannot say, but I can say that it is my personal experience

3. What I feel are the key elements common to all traditions and modalities

a.      The desire to experience permanent happiness
b.      Awareness / Living in the now
c.      A committment to a practise that helps you to come back to
awareness/the now everytime you experience distraction from
awareness/the now.
d.      All the answers to our quest are answered in the stillness within each
one of us

4.    The desire to experience permanent happiness

We are all, each one of us omnipotent, omniscient and omnipresent. There is nothing that we need. There is nothing that we need to do. All is good. ‘The kingdom of heaven is within you’ . And yet Jesus also says ‘Seek the truth and the truth will set you free’ . This i feel is a recognition by Jesus of how lost we are and have been for most of our existence on this planet. This life experience brought to us for reasons, I do not know, gives us the opportunity to wake up from our dream and realise the beauty and the bliss which are our true inheritance.

I speak of the possibility of happiness through practice, a psychological practice some my call it, a spiritual practice some others may describe it, a practice of whatever title, it doesn’t matter, all that matters is that it helps to bring one back to the present moment where happiness abounds blissfully

This I sense, is all very understandable and very recognizable. Most people i feel know this intuitively. Yet, It is the wanting of this bountiful eternal bliss which is the key first ingredient to its attainment. The desire to experience permanent happiness arises how?? Can you produce it?? Does it happen naturally?? In my experience, I developed this desire as a result of experiencing too much unhappiness. There was no sparkle in anything i experienced in life. And this is the most common impulse for transformation I see in others. There may be other ways…..god works in mysterious ways!

5. Awareness / Living in the now

As a starter to test ones desire for change…..there are a lot of present moment practises out there. I recommend Eckhart Tolle’s Book ‘Practicing the power of now‘.

And in the present moment, what do you experience? There is nothing only your emotions, your sensations and your thoughts. I call them your E.S.T.. All that you see, sniff, hear, taste and touch, all that you feel and think are the only experiences you can possibly have…..think about……how do you feel about it…….do you experience any sensations as you read this……there is nothing else, there never was or never will be anything else other than your  E. S. T. in this present moment. The continent of north america exists only because you are thinking it in being at this very moment. Heaven exists only if you think it is so.

The first century Greek Philosopher Epictetus, speaks of (allowing for copious translations) deciding what it is we can and cannot control. This is a very liberating activity, to sit down and write out what you feel you can and cannot control. We cannot control, life, death, our bodies, our reputation, freedom from pain, etc…..ie all that springs directly from actions of others and other things outside of ourselves. But we can control our opinions, aims, desires, aversions, etc….ie all that spring directly from our own actions or as i would say our E. S. T. . And there are practices out there that help to do this. Eckhart Tolles book (above) is one. My own practice called ‘Aschoouving’ is another.

6. Committment to a practise

This game is not a new years committment……its a new life committment. At some stage in ones life, you must emotionally leave the home you grew up in and become the person you were born to be. Emotional leaving does not mean physically departing, although for most people this may be the only way they attain their emotional independence.

The proliferation of so many modalities for change is such a remarkable sign of the current apparently growing global transformational vibration. The internet is awash with practices and philosophies. Access to answers is becoming easier and easier. There are so many options that increasingly more and more people are been brought into the game. There is a lot of discussion too about ‘the most effective way’….the ‘quickest’….the ‘easiest’ way….I say….’follow your own intuition’…..one may feel they have found the best way, but as i said above this is their E.S.T., this is the only place they can speak from…..primary to your experience is your E.S.T., your intuition.

6.  All the answers to our quest are answered in the stillness within each one of us

Whatever practice one chooses, it appears that being alone, regularly for long periods is where much of the consciousness awakening happens. Social interaction is a sign, the playing field, a test, a challenge, an affirmation of the personal work, the progress or lack of progress one is achieving on their own, in their own personal space, in their own thoughts, emotions and sensations, E.S.T.. You must go within to go beyond. There you find the ‘kingdom of heaven’, no less than the ‘kingdom of heaven’….think about it…..what does that mean for you…..’the kingdom of heaven’…….Is it worth it?

7. So in considering what may be the common denominators in all current philosophies and practises, I feel I have focused the mind on the heart of what really matters. Do you feel its a worthwhile consideration? Would you like to add, delete or refine a common denominator?

Lovers for a moment

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Its funny, after all these years, and having ‘left’ so long ago, I still dream of my early childhood a lot and the village I grew up in. I dreamt last night of walking thru the village again as an adult and noticed that all the shops and businesses I grew up with, were either closed down or had changed owners and business type. I awoke with this strong image and lay on my bed letting it all in. I was home recently and had noticed the same thing as I now seem to be processing in my dream. It has resonances with all of life. Growing up on the main street of this village, the shops and businesses were the social hub. This is where all the other children came from and went to play and pass the time. Their parents were the ‘gods’ of my youth, the untouchables, such was the esteem I held them in. So now seeing their businesses come to an end, its like watching life pass me by. And this is what life is. A collection of events that bring opportunities that you take or not, and when you’ve learnt or not, life moves on. I see the passing of these childhood pyramids as a lesson in letting go and seeing that no matter what we feel is lost, behind it all spirit still lives, my essence remains unchanged. And if i do feel sentimentality arising, well its very welcome, because its a wakeup call to remember again and keep remembering the spirit that is our true essence. And this spirit never lives in a past or a future but only ever in this now. It matters not what is past but only what one feels in this present now.

I had the pleasure of connecting with a free spirit recently whose questions and answers were very focused and inspiring. He inspired the name of a new workshop I give ‘Living the Heartsong’ and at present is suggesting some ideas for a song I might write or sing or whatever comes to me. The title is ‘Lovers for a moment’. Its such a powerful title, it packs a lot of stuff into such a small space. Just like the dream challenges me to go beyond the sentimentality of passing childhood images and look to what’s behind all the memories, what’s really going on, so too this title. It proposes love, open unconditional, boundaryless love that one tends to want, to have, to capture and keep. We yearn for it, we look for it incessantly, and carry our accumulated baggage from one unrequited relationship to another, until someday exhausted from our travels, tired from the increasing load we carry, we come to realise somehow it was always there in the moment, with us in the moment, as lovers for the moment. It proposes a completely different way of looking at couple relationships, which are so influenced by commitment for life scenarios, and suggests that, that one moment connection, that sweet movement in tandem, that eye to eye gentle engagement and words shared enhanced sing their own sweet music, even thought it be for a moment, are as powerful and inspiring as a lifetime of commitment, if entered into (and this is the key), if entered into openly, unconditionally, wanting nothing, just being.

LOVERS FOR A MOMENT

To be in love with what life gives you
To breathe it in, to sense within
To be in love for just this moment
To want no more than what is now.
To be lovers for this moment
No need to look beyond
To be lovers for this moment
Held all-ways, in ineffable sound

The Eagle Dance

Practising the Eagle Dance at Earthsong 2012image

Looking back over the week at earthsong what was most powerful for me was the eagle dance. I resonate and enjoy very much the connections shamanism acknowledge with the cosmos, fellow humans, plant, animals and birds. The eagle, the leader of birds, holds a particular resonance in their rituals. Madeline taught 9 of us the eagle dance. She spends her time in the Himalayas where last year she felt the presence of an eagle calling her to teach the eagle dance at earthsong 2012. She had no prior knowledge of the dance, so she contacted some native american indians and began her research

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We had some practice sessions, then on Saturday 14 july, in the big top, the largest tent on site, we put on the feathers and hat we made out of old bed sheets, painted our faces as our own inner eagle led us and set up the medicine or spirit wheel ie a circle of 12 or 16 stones around the centre of the circle beginning with a stone at the east, then s, w and finally north. A stone was placed to honour the mother earth and one to honour the father sky or cosmos. Everyone was then smudged. Smudging cleanses the mind and environment in preparation for the ritual. The sacred smoke, created by burning dried natural herbs, commonly sage, dispels stagnant energy, opens the energy channels in your body and raises your personal power, your ‘windhorse’. The leader of the ritual smudges each person in turn, drawing the sacred smoke over the whole body, incl footsole, then she smudges the drum. She thanks the plant for the purification. Then standing first at the east stone on the medicine wheel, she makes smoke offerings to invoke the spirit of the east, then clockwise to the south, west and north, earth and sky. She honours the particular characteristic of each direction. These characteristics vary somewhat between cultures, but have more in common than not, something like this…..east: eagle, morning, birth, beginnings, fire element; south: summer solstice, serpent, midday, youth, trust, growth, air element; west: bear, twilight, introspection, healing, emotion, death, water element; north, winter solstice, darkness, wisdom, clarity, renewal, blessings, earth element

Then she passed around a beautifully decorated stick with the 4 directions, earth and sky depicted on it, to set our intention verbally for the dance. She asked us to take on the spirit of the eagle. Detachment, power, clarity, focus and grace is what i remember came to me. And bringing these characteristic we began to move out of the tent to a stone circle, in line, dancing to the heartbeat of 3 drums,  180 beats @min. We lined up in the circle and 2 began dancing. We used some of the steps we were taught and also improvised as the spirit of our own eagle led us. When one person finished they rejoined the line and a new person began dancing around the circle. So there was always 2 dancers. People started to gather and held hands around the circle. It was wonderful. I swished and swooped. I held my poise and wandered alone on the winds. Eventually after 5 or 6 dances each, all the onlookers joined in.

Great, fun way to drop consciousness into the characteristics of clarity, focus, power and detachment

Earthsong

I wrote a few posts in the Earthsong camp but I couldn’t publish them there as i was in a no-electronic zone. I have decided to collect them all together and publish them in this post.

EARTHSONG 1. mon 9 jul 12
I’m writing this post from a tent in the middle of the Tipperary country side. Earthsong Ireland, an annual camp where people take time out to live, play, sing and dance together. This playfulness with life manifests as approx 500 people gathered together in circles of 12 tents. In the middle of this circle is an open fire, the heart of the circle where you cook, eat, relax and chat. From this foundation you turn to experience a huge variety of workshops, funshops and playshops. The underlining principle as i experience it, is to offer a place where people can live life to the full, without fear, open to the full potential of who they are. The full list of events can be found at http://www.earthsong.ie , but to really feel the vibrations one must come and personally experience them. For me, it is a key moment in the expansion of my heart. There are at anyone time approx.10 workshops happening at the same time, catering for all age groups, but by far the greatest energy generated for me was at the morning and evening communal gatherings. The organization of the camp is very impressive running smoothly along progressive lines of communication and leadership but it is the love more than anything else that i feel in every bone and cell of my body. So strong and vibrant is this love that it carries a boundarylessness and expansion, total forgiveness and support. Eckhart Tolle speaks about the first steps to happiness begin with the awareness of the ego and its need to avoid the present moment. Ego is very simply identified as those times when you feel inferior or superior to others. In the past for me that has been most of the time!!!. All that is required to come into the present moment, heal the hurt in your heart and open to the magnificence of who you really are, is awareness, a brilliant summary I feel of all spiritual teachings. If you come with an open mind to Earthsong, aware of the ego and participate in the workshops and communal gatherings, you will find a space here for you to practice this awareness, to tune yourself to the rhythms of your heart. The morning communal gathering is called heartsong and here the power of awareness with a simple yet elegantly effortless chant, sung in four part harmony bringing together beautifully the feminine and male energies, all earthly energies from the north, south, east and west, is a wonderful present moment of love, you cannot be but touched, its a natural thing. Each person needs to make this energy their own, and can’t rely solely on the support given at such ‘elevated’ events as heartsong for them to get in touch with who they really are….herein lies the challenge….more on this subject in the following entries

EARTHSONG 2. wed 11 July 12
The Earth song experience continues to open my heart, slowly moment by moment. The circle of tents has become a very significant place of emotional healing. Just like in the ordinary tasks of everyday living, the cleaning, cooking and household tasks act as an emotional gauge, so to it is with the camp circle. What a wonderful opportunity to establish new ways of relating together, of organizing society and of playfully exploring new paradigms to replace the old very out dated, very male, law and order model. The healing sounds of the dance, drum and chant are used to wonderful effect in these camps in very well-organized workshops. It is now time to enhance this healing and create the space in each circle where the difficulties experienced between circle members can be healed in a safe protected environment. ‘Clearing’, an energetic healing practice developed by Eric Dowsett, which I have practiced for 7 years, is a very beautiful, non judgemental, gentle but powerful way to get in touch with your thoughts and feelings, not take them seriously, and thus begin to experience the power to heal or ‘clear’ the hurts within oneself before we start blaming others for them. It is a practice that helps shifts blocked energies within ones own heart and the heart of communities, thus resolving difficulties effortlessly.

EARTHSONG 3. thurs 12 july 12
I have walked barefoot in mud and bathed my body in beauty, toned to the presence of plain chant and danced to the expansive one beat of my heart, in touch, we touch this evolving now.

EARTHSONG 4. thurs 19 july 12. THE AFTERS
A video on dmt, the psychedelic drug, titled ‘the spirit molecule’, was recommended. I watched it and below is the comment I made afterwards. The comment is relevant to the key lesson, I’ve learnt from my Earthsong experience: spiritual highs are questionable if not related to the everyday ordinary experience

My comment was as follows:
Many times I’ve used alcohol to switch out of the reality I find myself in, to give me a break from the heavy energies i experience from time to time. I find that these realities or heavy energies don’t go away and call on deeper resources to face and heal them. So consciousness and openness, wanting freedom, peace and happiness has lead me to ‘religious’ experience, cooked in the hot fires of life and transformed to personal spiritual experience where the heavy energies continue to arise until such time as you can sit with them, accept them and smile at them.

I give my time to the exploration of and experience of life in all its fullness and for me the development of human consciousness lies within the realm of boundarylessness, floating on a ball in a vast multilayered emptiness, so vast its endless, yet so mysterious it can be encapsulated in the tiniest subatomic particle in the human body

There are many ways, it seems, to introduce oneself to this field of endless potential that is our true nature: sound healing, chanting, dance, drumming, guided meditation, group healing are all ways I’ve used. I have read about the use of psychedelic drugs as another gateway and this film has being very informative on this subject. I have just returned from a wonderful week of chanting, where through the power of the collective voice people rose above their thoughts emotions and sensations (their bodies) and rested vulnerably in the spirit state which is their true nature. Without a context within which these spiritually high moments are received, when one returns back to the physical plane, the bliss will slowly dissipate, and the possibility for the development of human consciousness lost, leading to possible irritability and confusion. I have asked the question just like Rick asked at the end of the film ….’well what next? …..’why do these experiments again?

No matter what the dmt volunteers experiences were, fundamentally it seems to me that they point to the simple clear reality that we are spirit beings in a physical body. The challenge for us…..well maybe its not a challenge its only thinking makes it so…. so I’ll say that another way…my focus is constantly, moment by moment, to rise above the thoughts, emotions and sensations, ie those things that identify us as bodies, so that when we have more and more of these spiritually revealing insights, events, sensations and so on, we can integrate them into the physical reality thus transforming this reality and allowing it to merge effortlessly with our true spirit nature

This clarifies for me that when one brings people to spiritually high experiences there must be first the right ‘set and setting’ as they call it in the film. This set and setting is not the exterior form of the room, its furniture and fittings, but ones inner state of being, ones state of readiness, of openness to the transformative information that abound in ‘spiritually high’ moments. I have found this set and setting through practicing ‘clearing’. This practice forms the basis of the the talk I give at the moment. My next talk will be at An Sanctóir in Ballydehob, County Cork, August Bank Holiday weekend. Get in touch if you require more info. Thanks for reading

Exploring your own unique universal vibration at Clonmel Junction Festival 2012

My next gig…should be interesting cause its an exploration for me as well. The practice of clearing has brought healing, healing has inspired music, music has introduced me to chant  and singing  from the heart and singing from the heart has led me to silence and the beauty of the music of silence, the beauty of the vibrations of silence, the beauty of the vibrations within me within you, the beauty of all the vibrations that are, have been and will be for ever more. I want to share the oneness and microscopic intricacy, the universality and expansive wonder, the indescribably simple perplexity of the vibrations I experience. I am. And I will also be at the clonmel junction festival on july 10, from 2 to 3pm and afterwards if you wish to continue the exploration, it would be good to see you there. Love and abundance

Another New Beginning

Well thats what it feels like…. beginning again….nothing like a fresh start, and yet every beginning is just an end and every end is just a beginning…..all part of the merry go round. Sometimes it feels like im starting over, new pages to turn, ah ah moments, difficulties arising, difficulties abating, opinions hardening, opinions softening, boundaries strengthening and losing their edges…..and yet in this constantly changing world, the essential you always remains the same.

Its good to stay alert, aware, awake cause when youre asleep you keep on falling into the same old potholes on your driveway thru life (and who wants all that hassle!!). You will only ever realise, it seems to me, how futile the whole exercise is, all your plans and projects, misdemeanours and grand endeavours, when you somehow or other wake up!!

On the other hand, and there are many of those, paradoxically you got to do what you got to do. Ive written a lot of music over the last number of years, different genres, different vibs and each ‘project’ ive completed seems to have being,in hind sight, an exercise in self healing. No matter how many spiritual practises you learn, workshops and retreats you complete, books on the subject you read there is no substitute for just simply doing whatever it is you feel in your heart. Maybe then you might wake up… I dont know.

Life though, offers us lots of space to wake up, thats my experience at least!! It is very cleverly set up to challenge you to your core, each and every day. And life is very generous too…..so much fear given into……anger and aggression unleashed….and still we’re given chance after chance to see the folly of our ways. So how does life help you to wake up. A simple straight forward question…now could i have the answer please. A bit like monty pythons quest for the meaning of life, as soon as you think youve cracked it, another issue pops up……well maybe youll find the answer, if you come to my next talk/workshop/funshop next      Wed 30 May, Annacarty, County Tipperary, 7.30 – 10pm entitled      ‘Explore your own unique universal sound’.       There are however no guarantees youll find it. For full details on the event, ring me at 0872541892 and visit http://www.soulretreat.ie/events .

This very very present moment or something like that!

there is only this

so im blogging again…i like writing things down, it lends [in some peculiar way] more definition to the thoughts that can swirl around in the head if left to their own devises.

My music continues to flow and evolve and im writing new stuff all the time. A workshop in Limerick recently given by Chloe Goodchild of www.TheNakedVoice.com was an inspiring moment for me. Her music, combined with chant [spiritual songs everyone can easily join in with] and movement revealed new sounds deep within me and new possibilities for my music. My stage performances over the last year have shown me that a more meditative setting is required for my music, and Chloe has shown me how one can combine music, song, chant, movement and dance with spiritual themes in an intimate, gentle setting. I want to interact more with the audience, engage them more in the song….. an all-inclusive experience without the ‘stage’.

So my gigs are evolving…im focused a bit more these last weeks on the new meditation group im running in Cappawhite, Tipperary, thursdays 7.30pm at my house. And it will be interesting to see how the two develop. And 2 will become 1! The meditation sessions are a really powerful gentle way to come into the present moment and be who you really are. Give it a try and see what happens!!

A New Beginning?

Its Monday, its 14.40, the beginning of October and i begin to blog for the first time. blog blog blog blog blog. That wasnt too difficult. Anyways!! Ive started a new meditation group in my village Cappawhite, County Tipperary and i thought it would be helpful to share some of the thoughts and ideas that inspire me as the group continues to meet on a weekly basis.

Alls well and theres nothing we can do about it. There is just this. THIS IS IT. We spend so much time thinking about what we did and what we are going to do, that theres very little time left to think about what we ARE doing. Makes you think ….are we with it at all? My debut album ‘Under the Great Shady Tree’ features my song ‘This is it’. Check it out at www.fionntain.com

Meditation is one of an infinite amount of ways of being in the present moment. A tool one can use to help bring you back to the now…..to who you really are….to ease, effortlessness and joy. It is wonderful to share my experience of meditation at the weekly sessions in Cappawhite and I thank all those who have come along and all those who are with us in spirit.

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